With Valentine’s Day on the horizon, I was thinking about love. Specifically in marriage. What it means to love someone. We all know that in marriage you won’t always see eye to eye with your spouse. We have heard it all before that marriage is work and it’s not always easy to love someone. Even with Christ as our example, it is difficult to always love as Christ loved. Especially if they have hurt our feelings or wronged us in some way. I am not here to give you the secret formula to an easy marriage, but I hope you can read this and be motivated to examine the way you love and make changes if necessary.
1 John 3:18 says “Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.”
What are my actions saying? I claim to love my spouse, but do my actions back that up? Sometimes you may feel like you are showing them love and support but when you discuss it, they didn’t see it that way. Maybe you are demonstrating your love in the way you receive it. For them to feel loved though, you need to communicate and find out what they need from you first. Then you can in turn show love in a way that they will receive it. (The 5 Love Languages quiz is a good way to find out how you and your spouse receive love.) You really have to die to self when you serve someone in a way that you aren’t used to.
“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”
Colossians 3:13 NLT
I will be the first to admit when I am offended by my husband, I want to give him the silent treatment and I want to have a pity party for myself and if he asks me what’s wrong I want to do that “I’m fine” (when I’m really not fine). I always forgive him, sometimes after I’ve had a fit—I know, not my best moments. Remember I did say marriage is work, and I’m working on myself too! And I might treat him that way, but if I’m the one who offends him, the selfish part of me wants him to be able to just instantly forgive me and not have anything to say about it! Isn’t that how we all feel sometimes? But we need to learn to forgive others as quickly as we ourselves would like to be forgiven.
“This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you.”
John 15:12 NLT
When I think of how Jesus loves me, I am humbled because I don’t deserve it. And He is telling us here, when someone doesn’t deserve it, love them anyways. I am so thankful that Jesus and my husband both love me when I don’t deserve it.
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NLT
We are human, and we won’t get it right every time. Loving each other is something we have to work on every day.
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